


Braille Love

by IAmProudOfUs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past physical abuse, Suicide Attempt, blind!Sam, past emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 10:07:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6324856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmProudOfUs/pseuds/IAmProudOfUs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam learned that the past six years of his life was a lie and was forced to uproot it completely to move back home with his brother. He goes through much growth, pain, and struggles, but in the end comes through on top with the love and support of the one man who, on the first day they met, frenched him because he wanted to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Braille Love

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything aside from my grammatical mistakes.
> 
> Let us know what you think in the comments, but please keep them kind we appreciate critiques and feedback, but not mean or rude comments. Thank you! Enjoy!

It was in the small hours of the morning that Sam found himself in a bus driving cross country to his brother. He never thought this would happen to him, he was in love, had a great job, a loving fiance; soon to be wife. Sam sighed and relaxed in his seat and wiped away the tears that refused to stop for this three day journey. He sighed and opened his eyes being greeted by the familiar blackness that he knew since he was born. Sam was blind and had been since birth, but he grew to live with it quite easily since his brother was always there to help him and teach him. Sam’s father, John, never put much stock in him because of his, weakness. John’s voice was always borderline irritated and when Dean wasn’t around to stop him John would tell Sam things that would break him down within a second, things like he was the reason Mary was dead, Sam killed his mother and he shouldn’t be alive. Sometimes he would say that Sam should kill himself and rid the world of his worthless life, but Sam never did because he could never leave his brother alone like that. His life was hard, but he had succeeded in so many ways. He was supposed to be a lawyer and even passed his LSAT with flying colors, but he decided against it because he wanted to help children more. He ended up getting his teaching degree in history, blind history ironically, and taught at the local school and volunteered at orphanages to help children who had recently become blind or just needed help as they grew. He loved his life, his fiancé, his small family, but it made a turn for the worst when she broke it off. Her words hung in his head like lyrics to a song he could never forget, “I only stayed with you so long because I thought I could get used to your sickness, but I can’t.” She said with disdain, “I can’t love you because of your blindness and I never have.” She yelled and then he was knocked out and didn’t wake up till hours later. He was fired that day because she was good friends with the principle and his reputation was ruined because of what she did. He had no control over it and he was forced to uproot his life and sell everything taking only a backpack of things he was able to save and a small bag of clothes. Dean was furious when he heard, but he couldn’t do anything because Sam was already on the bus coming to him. In the end Sam was left broken and alone, he only asked for someone to love him, but it seemed that was too much. His thoughts were interrupted when his bus stopped and he knew this was his stop. 

It took an hour, but Dean came and picked him up and their ride was silent other than Sam’s odd sniffling. They didn’t say anything until they were in Dean’s house and Sam broke down crying into Dean’s shoulder and Dean was right there being strong for his baby brother while he beat himself up for not being able to protect him from this, what broke his heart the most though was when Sam started to apologize, “I’m so sorry Dean.” He whimpered, “You told me not to go, you said you didn’t want me to leave, but I did it anyway.” He said and let out a sob, “I-I should have listened to you, I’m so sorry.” He sobbed and that brought tears ,to Dean’s eyes because he didn’t blame Sam at all, “Sammy, Sammy don’t say that.” He said gruffly as his own tears fell, “You don’t have to be sorry Sammy.” He said and sighed while Sam just continued to sob. That went on for an hour before Sam was too tired to do anything and Dean helped him upstairs to sleep in his old room. The next day was difficult, but Sam got through. He showered and they went shopping for clothing, school supplies and groceries, it turned out that Dean got Sam a job at the school they both went to as kids. Sam couldn’t thank Dean enough because there was nothing he was more passionate about than teaching children about the blind as a people and culture. He started next week and he had to get ready ordering several things he needed for his classes like a braille typewriter and all the books they would be reading in class in braille. When Sunday came Sam was ready for his classes and felt a lot better than when he first came to Dean. 

That night was horrible for Sam because he had several nightmares about Ruby coming back with her boyfriend to beat him up, he had no idea why, but she scared him and he kept trying to run away. He woke up sweating several times until he couldn’t take it anymore and just got up to take a shower and get ready for school. He was ready in thirty minutes and ended up picking a very purple flannel shirt and some comfortable jeans as well as work boots, he looked like a regular mountain man in his outfit and loved it because it was getting colder and Sam could actually wear warmer clothes now. When he was finished he went to the kitchen and found a cup and water which was what he drank for several hours before Dean walked downstairs groggily and started making a pot of coffee, “I made you a lunch.” He said with a yawn and grabbed it from the fridge, “I’ll also stop by the store and pick up some melatonin so you can sleep.” He said, and Sam looked down, “How did you know I didn’t sleep?” He asked quietly and Dean walked over placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Because I’m your brother and know you better than you think.” He said and moved his hair out of his face because he missed a spot when he brushed his hair, “Now off to school with you or you’ll be late on your first day.” He said picking up Sam’s two bags and lunch kit handing them to him. Sam smiled and grabbed his bags then left out the door with his white cane leading the way. He never forgot the way to the school, it was something he could never forget and when he got there he smiled because it smelled like he remembered. He sighed and went to the office only to hit someone on his way, “Sorry.” He said to the person he hit, “Oh it’s quite alright.” Said a very suave and smooth voice, Sam turned his head to the voice, “If a handsome man like you wants to hit on little old me I’m more than happy to let you.” He said and Sam could hear the smile in his voice as well as the older tone, “Uh…” Sam said feeling at a loss because he had never been hit on by a man, “Oh come now, you can’t tell me I’m the first man to hit on you?” He asked taking his hand, “Gabriel Novak by the way, the greatest artist this school has ever had.” He said smiling and Sam chuckled shaking his hand, “Sorry, I just didn’t expect it.” He said blushing at the compliment, “I’m Sam Winchester, the new history teacher.” He said and Gabriel gasped, “So you’re the one everyone is talking about. I heard we had a blind teacher coming to work here, but I never guess he would be as good looking or tall as you.” Gabriel said and Sam blushed even more at the blatant compliments, “O-Oh, well yeah, I guess a blind teacher is something to talk about.” He said rubbing the back of his neck and then he realized he was still holding the man’s hand, they were calloused and rough, Sam liked them, they felt real. The warmth of his hand was nice as well, welcoming and Sam found himself smiling, “So how can good old Gabriel help you on your first day of school?” He asked and Sam chuckled, “I’m looking for the office actually, I don’t know which classroom is mine to teach in.” He said and Gabriel chuckled, “I can show you that, everyone has been told so if you get lost we can direct you back, but I think the school underestimates you’re sense of direction.” He said as he let go of his hand and started walking towards Sam’s classroom, “I suppose they are only taking precautions though I went to this school all my life when I was a child, I know it like the back of my hand and anything new will be fun to explore.” He said smiling, “Well if you ever want a companion on your journey I’d be more than happy to come with you, I’m in the classroom across the hall.” He said and Sam nodded, “Actually that would be great since I’m sure a lot has changed and a pair of eyes would be helpful.” He said and Gabriel gasped over dramatically, "I have been reduced to a lowly seeing eye dog?" He asked pretending to be offended which made Sam smile, "They are considered companions correct?" He asked teasingly and Gabriel chuckle, "That's not the kind of companion I meant." He said and turned to open the door, "Here we are." He said smiling at Sam, "I'm right across the hall so if you need my eyes just give a good shout." He said and started to walk off and Sam was sad because he liked this guy's company, "Oh by the way, you and I have the same lunch hour so if you want to have lunch with me I'd be happy to come over and share all the juicy gossip." He said and Sam chuckle, "Well when you put it like that I can't resist." He said smiling and Gabriel nodded, "See you at lunch." He said and walked off. 

Sam spent the rest of the morning setting up for his class and when it was time he got familiar with his students. He was able to pinpoint exactly who the troublemakers were and knew exactly how to deal with them, mainly by singling them out when they talked during class. Eventually it was time for his class to be over and he released his students going to his desk and started typing up tomorrow's assignment until he heard someone walking up, but it sounded like they were trying to be quiet which never worked around a blind man. For now though he indulged whomever was walking up and let them think they were getting the drop on him. When the person stood in front of his desk he looked up and smiled, “May I help you?” He asked and then laughed at what he heard. The man cursed and then he heard a thump and then a quiet groan, “You know, if you want to sneak up on a blind man maybe you should try just wearing socks.” He said chuckling, “Are you okay?” He asked and then guy just groaned, “Yeah, yeah just peachy, got scared by a blind man.” He said and Sam smiled, “Well if it makes you feel any better I didn’t mean to scare you to the point of falling on your butt.” He said and leaned forward, “I’m sorry.” He said sincerely and the man stood, “It’s okay, I guess I should have known better, but I wanted to know if the blind really do have better hearing since they are lacking sight.” He said and Sam chuckled, “Well now you know first hand that we do.” He said and Gabriel chuckled, “Good to know.” He said and brushed himself off again, “So I didn’t get to mention it, but let me say that I didn’t know a man could look so absolutely tantalizing.” He said and Sam gulped and blushed, “W-What?” He asked obviously caught off guard, “Oh come now, you can’t tell me that I’m the first man in your life to hit on you?” He asked and Sam tilted his head, “W-Well no, but uh… I haven’t been ‘hit on’ in a very long time.” He said using air quotes. In fact Sam hadn’t been so obviously flirted with in so many years because Ruby never praised Sam or flirted with him in all the years they were together even though he did that for her all the time, “Well I guess I’m going to have to change that because now that I’ve gotten a look at you all I want to do is hit on you all day long till you agree to come home with me so I can ravage your body.” He said lowly and Sam felt his face heat up even more and he didn’t know how to respond, “U-Uh… Not that I don’t appreciate the offer, b-but I haven’t really… I-I mean I’m not…” Sam didn’t know how to spit it out that he just recently got out of a bad relationship and was still recovering, but then Gabriel made him feel good about himself, something Ruby never made him feel, “Oh, you’re not gay.” He said and laughed, “Well you could have told me that, I didn’t mean to come on so strong if you’re not into dudes.” He said, “I just figured with your purple shirt and everything, but I just read the signs wrong, sorry I’m really off my game.” He said and he sounded embarrassed, “No, that’s not it.” Sam said and Gabriel was confused, “What?” He asked and Sam shook his head smiling, “You want the blunt truth?” He asked and Gabriel nodded, “You’re nodding aren’t you?” Sam asked after a minute and Gabriel stopped, “Oh right… Yes, I want the blunt truth.” He said and Sam sighed, “The truth is, I’m new to this.” He said and looked down, “I’m new to this town, at least I haven’t been here in six years, and I’m new to being gay.” He said, “I just recently got out of a long term relationship, six years if you’re wondering, with the woman I wanted to spend my life with, but… Well things change I guess.” He said with a shrug, “I guess you could say I was ‘blind’ to how she really felt, ironic I know, but either way what’s done is done.” He said, “Anyway, that’s not the point, I just… I’ve never been with a man, ever. I’ve never kissed a man or even thought of men romantically until recently and I’m just… I’m very new.” He said and blushed, “So, uh, yeah, take it or leave it, but I literally just figured out I was gay on the three day trip over here a week ago.” He said and rubbed the back of his neck and then he felt so off his game because he just dished his sob story out to a complete stranger, one of his coworkers at that, and he didn’t even know why. Gabriel was quiet for a long while and Sam sighed looking down, “Is this the part where we awkwardly never speak again and avoid each other at all costs?” He asked quietly and then what happened next was completely random and what started their relationship off with the best foot you could ask for. Gabriel walked over to Sam, grabbed his shirt, and hauled him up then pulled him down planting a long, dirty, kiss on his lips. Sam was so shocked and almost pulled back, but did the exact opposite and surged forward which made Gabriel smile into the kiss. When they pulled away Gabriel was smiling, Sam could hear it, “Well, now you’ve kissed a man.” He said and then gave his ass a smack before he started to walk away, “I’ll see you at lunch, my class is starting.” He called and Sam was just standing there his jaw hanging open for the next twenty minutes until a student walked in and asked him to explain their assignment to him. 

After that day Sam and Gabriel became fast friends and soon lovers. It wasn’t a secret at the school, but they were progressive and didn’t care that two teachers were a couple or that they were gay, in fact it was something that everyone seemed to think was really cute or didn’t care at all. Sam was the gay lumberjack at the school that all the girls and a lot of the guys drooled over while Gabriel was the punk teacher with so many tattoos it was unbelievable, but most weren’t visible since they were on his chest and legs, but his neck and arms were covered in them as well. He was the school punk art teacher that everyone could go to when they needed help with either a project or just with life in general. Sam and him had been together for a couple months when one weekend Sam was over and they were laying in bed Gabriel laying on the bed naked while Sam traced his hands over his tattoos guessing what some were. His favorite tattoo of all was the one on his back, angel wings spanning his entire back, it took him so long to figure that out, but when he did he smiled, “My angel.” Sam said kissing Gabriel’s neck softly, right over the rose, “Beautiful and perfect.” He said and Gabriel sighed with a smile. He always loved listening to Sam’s mouth run especially when he was under him begging for him to fuck. Gabriel loved making Sam beg, the fact that he could make a very large, tall, mountain man beg him for something gave Gabriel a huge power trip.

One day on the weekend many months later, almost a year actually, Sam was laying in bed reading a book when Gabriel came home very happy, “Sammy?” He called and sam rolled his eyes, “Gabe you know I hate when you call me that.” He said and Gabriel chuckled and went to the bedroom, “I can’t help it I’m just happy.” He said smiling and Sam looked at him, “Why are you so happy?” He asked, “Well besides having you waiting in my bed, looking very hot I might add, I got a new tattoo.” He said and went to Sam sitting in bed with him and getting naked, they both agreed to walk naked around the house unless there was company, “Oh you did, well lead my hands to it.” He said smiling and put his book on the side table giving Gabriel his hands who led them to his neck. Sam smiled and kissed Gabriel’s cheek before he felt the tattooed area gently, they were different than his regular skin because of the ink and were raised ever so slightly which helped Sam make out the contours and curves, “Hmm.” He said as he felt it up, “It’s very curvy and there are feathers so some kind of bird.” He said and Gabriel smiled, “You’re getting very good at this.” He said and Sam smiled back, “Well that’s all I can make out and…” Sam stopped when he read something that he wasn’t expecting. He ran his fingers over it several times to make sure it was right S-A-M, spelt in braille. Sam smiled and kissed Gabriel, “Why you little, you are just so keen on making me cry aren’t you.” He said because his eyes were already watering, “Well I didn’t plan on it if that’s what you’re wondering, but just so you know what the tattoo is I’ll describe it to you.” He said and pulled Sam down so he was on his back and Gabriel was straddling his hips, “It’s a golden eagle flying with a banner over it’s eyes that has your name in braille.” He said and kissed Sam’s neck softly and Sam gasped, “I wanted you to be a part of me permanently and I couldn’t think of a better way than to get a tattoo.” He said and Sam let out a sob which alarmed Gabriel and he looked up and held Sam, “Hey, don’t cry, it’s okay, if you don’t like it I can get it removed, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He said softly running his fingers through his hair, but Sam shook his head, “God no Gabriel I’m not upset.” He said and sniffled, “I’m just so touched because you said you’d never get that kind of tattoo.” He said and Gabriel sighed and held Sam, “Well I lied.” He said, softly and then went back to kissing Sam all over his body and just feel him up, nothing was sexual at the time, it was his way of being intimate with Sam because Sam was so reserved and never let anyone really get this close to him. It was so shocking to Sam that Gabriel did that because he had sworn he would never get a tattoo of someone’s name ever, it was too personal and in his experience they never lasted. Gabriel obviously thought Sam was different because he got the tattoo he sworn he never would. 

As the next year passed Sam and Gabriel learned so much about each other, Sam finally opened up about his past, his father’s abusive nature, his mother dying during his birth and his father blaming him. Sam had already told Gabriel everything about Ruby and what she did, he told him more than he told Dean. In return soon after that Gabriel shared his past, his abusive father, not physical, but sexual. Gabriel was raped by his own father, adopted father that is, so many times that by the time he was ten he was being whored out to the man’s friends, but instead of destroying him like it very well could have Gabriel decided to let it make him strong. It took a long time, he was twenty when he did this, but he stood up to his ‘father’ and ended up shooting him dead, something else he did was get the video evidence that showed him being abused, it had all the men he was used by and even though it was terrifying to him Gabriel went to the police with it, years of living as a weakling, being used, and abused, but he finally was over it and moved away from that small town. Him and his brother, who were separated when Gabriel was adopted, finally found each other and Gabriel moved in with him going to school, working, and eventually getting a job as an art teacher at the school. Over those years Gabriel found out about tattoos and started getting them, slowly and small at first, but as the years went on he covered almost his entire body with them, he would never tattoo his face though, that was off limits to him. With every tattoo Gabriel got it was symbolic of him letting go and forgiving himself for never fighting back, he had finally fought back at the age of twenty and gained control over his life and years later he found Sam who was more than willing to give him control and surrender to him. 

They lived together finally after a year and a half, Gabriel asked him to move in, and Sam was so happy and agreed in a heartbeat. The move was quick and Gabriel found a secret talent that Sam had, he was a magnificent pianist. It was during his free period that Gabriel couldn’t find Sam and finally started looking for him. He found him in the auditorium playing the piano, years of experience taught him to take his shoes off and walk in his socks before he got into the room. He went in and stood listening to Sam play song after song and when Sam finished Gabriel applauded making Sam jump out of his skin, “Wow, that was so beautiful Sam.” He said as he got onto the stage and went to sit next to him, “I didn’t know you could play, and you have such a talent for it too.” He said smiling while Sam blushed and shrugged, “It’s just a hobby of mine, I can create my own art in a sense, it was my way of trying to be like you since I can’t sculpt for my life, but I can make art with my hands in a different way.” He said smiling and Gabriel felt like he was punched right in his feelings, “Wow Sam.” He said getting choked up and Sam smiled and wrapped his arms around him, “I love you Gabriel Novak.” He said softly and Gabriel sniffled, “I love you too Samuel Winchester.” He said as he dried his tears. That night Gabriel took Sam home and made love to him all tender and sweet, not rushed and dirty, they spent hours cuddling and Sam ran his hands of Gabriel’s body ‘seeing’ his tattoos with a smile and lingering on the eagle that flew on his neck, it was Sam’s favorite. 

Then the day came that Dean and him got into a fight. It wasn’t uncommon for them to fight at all, but Dean said something that shook Sam to the core, “You’re the reason mom is dead!” He yelled and Sam stopped, his entire posture changing immediately, he recoil and couldn’t stop the hurt and betrayal from showing ove his face, “You killed her you monster!” He screamed and then without thinking, he didn’t even grab his white cane, Sam ran out of the house almost tripping on shoes and things left around. He didn’t stop running until he was at home in his and Gabriel’s bed fully clothed and gripping Gabriel’s pillow as tightly as he could, it was the summer, but Gabriel was helping a friend for the day so he wasn’t home. Sam just laid there tears pouring out of his eyes as he trembled trying desperately to push out the thoughts that were weeding their way into Sam’s mind, thoughts Sam had spent years trying to forget, “Why are you still alive?” He heard his father say, “You killed my wife, Dean’s mother, no one can love a monster like you.” He said and Sam whimpered pressing his face to Gabriel’s pillow, “Gabriel!” He cried out weakly, it was barely a whisper, but he was trying so hard to think of something else, “Gabriel!” He yelled, this time louder, he didn’t know what else to do but call for the only person who hadn’t hurt him, “Your so called lover isn’t here to help you, he can’t love someone like you, no one can love a monster, not even your own brother!” He heard his father say and Sam whimpered his breathing turning raged, he didn’t how else to handle the pain, he didn’t have any other way to deal with it so he got up and went to the bathroom. He felt his heart rate picking up and he was scared, more scared than he’d ever been in his entire life, “I-I’m so sorry.” He said weakly and grabbed his razor with shaking hands. He couldn’t live knowing Dean saw him as a monster, the only person in his life who never blamed him and now the truth came out. The first cut hurt the worst and the deepest because he didn’t know how to gauge it, after that he just kept cutting his wrists over and over going all the way to his forearms. He had tears streaming down his face from the pain, both physical and emotional, and the blood was flowing down his arms to the floor. He could smell the blood, almost taste it, but he couldn’t stop until he started to feel dizzy and ended up sitting down against the tub his breathing turning shallow. He sat there saying over and over again, “I’m so sorry” unable to speak another word. He didn’t even realized how long it had been till he heard distantly Gabriel’s voice frantic and panicked, he knew then it had to have been hours because when he started this whole thing it was daylight and Gabriel wasn’t going to be home till well after eleven. He felt a sting on his face and he opened his eyes only to see everything blurry and dark, “I’m so sorry.” He said weakly and then his head lolled back and he blacked out. The next thing he knew he heard a faint beep in the distance echo quietly, he didn’t know what was going on or where he was, but it smelled strongly of a hospital. He opened his eyes and was greeted by the usual blackness which made him frown and the close his eyes again and felt tears well in his eyes and fall silently, he remembered everything that happened and couldn’t handle it, he couldn’t handle being a monster, he never asked for this, never asked to be born, never wanted this at all. Sam swallowed dryly and then coughed and winced because he tried to move his arms and it didn’t work out too well. He gasped and stopped moving, “Shit.” He said quietly and then he heard people talking to him, but they all stopped when the, who he assumed was the doctor, come over, “Sir, can you hear me?” He asked and Sam nodded, “Yeah, I can hear you.” He said looking towards the voice, “Can you tell me your name?” He asked and Sam nodded, “Samuel Winchester.” He said, “And your birthday?” He followed up with. They went back and forth talking like that for about ten minutes and when they determined he had no memory loss the doctor talked with him about what happened. He was found with gashes on his wrists and forearms and rushed to the hospital after Gabriel called 9-1-1 then his cuts and wounds were dealt with while he got a transfusion. The doctor checked his pulse and other vitals, “We need to keep you for a couple more days to make sure your wounds don’t get infected, but after that you will be free to go.” He said and Sam nodded and laid back. After that the doctor left and Sam was left with an empty room which made him frown deeply as tears welled and fell down his face. As he laid there in the empty room he thought about what Dean had said, the words that hurt him and he felt his heart shatter all over again, “Alone once again monster, no one cares to even visit you in the hospital.” His father said and Sam whimpered and tried to stop his tears, “No one cares that you’re alive, they wouldn’t care if you were dead either.” He said and Sam sniffled closing his eyes and just listening to the voice, he had no reason to doubt it at this rate, no one cared for him, he was alone in a hospital, no one cared enough to visit. However, he heard someone walk in and he figured it was the nurse, he didn’t care if she saw his tears, he was blind, he couldn’t see the look on her face even if he wanted to, but what he didn’t expect at all was a gente, calloused hand wipe away his tears gently, “Oh Sam.” He heard Gabriel say and Sam whimpered, “I’m so sorry.” He said his voice trembling and afraid, “I’m so sorry.” He repeated, but Gabriel placed a hand on Sam’s mouth, “Sam, Sam it’s okay.” He said softly and kissed Sam’s forehead, “It’s okay my love.” He told him again and ran his fingers through Sam’s hair gently, “I’m not upset with you at all.” He told him and Sam looked up at him, even though he couldn’t see, “Y-You’re not?” He asked hesitantly, he could feel something about to happen, something very much like Gabriel getting the wrong idea, “I’m not.” He said, “If I had known… If you had just said you didn’t… If you told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore…” Gabriel started to say, but Sam shook his head, “No, no that’s not… This isn’t about us I swear.” He said desperately his voice hurting from his screaming, “Please, oh god Gabriel, please don’t tell me you’re leaving.” Sam whimpered looking up at him his eyes showing all the emotions he couldn’t even begin to express, pain, desperation, fear, all at the thought of Gabriel leaving, “I… I wasn’t… I didn’t mean for…” Sam started trying to tell him what was wrong, but he couldn’t and then Dean walked in, he could tell because he knew his footsteps anywhere. Sam immediately tensed and frowned tears falling more rapidly and he reached his hand for Gabriel, the first place it could reach, and that was Gabriel’s elbow. Sam didn’t care, he just gripped it with fear that Gabriel would leave him alone with Dean, that was the last thing Sam wanted, he couldn’t handle anymore of this. Dean thought he was a monster, what was the point of living? He was the reason his mother was dead, Sam was the monster in this story and Dean was the only person who ever told him otherwise… Until their fight. Now Dean was just like his father, John, Dean thought just as lowly of him and Sam couldn’t see any reason to live if his brother, the one who made him who he was today, thought of him as a monster. Sam started to tremble at the sound of Dean’s footfalls and then felt his heart stop when Dean stopped at the foot of his bed, “Ow, Sam you’re hurting me.” Gabriel said placing a hand on Sam’s gently, “Just relax, it’s only Dean.” He said softly, but Sam couldn't relax, he couldn’t stop his eyes from fixing where Dean stood his own eyes swimming in fear and tears. He swallowed and loosened his grip on Gabriel’s elbow which he appreciated and continued to run his hand through his hair, “Sammy-” Dean started, but Sam cut him off, “Don’t you dare call me that.” He said his voice angry and hurt, “Don’t you speak to me like that.” He said as his tears fell, “You were the only one… The only one who believed in me, who loved me day after day when John hurt me, the only one who never thought of me as a…” Sam stopped, he couldn’t say it, he couldn’t admit it, not now. Gabriel listened and grew angrier and angrier when he found out what Dean had done, what he had said. He swallowed down the anger for a moment and leaned over kissing Sam’s forehead, “I’m going to let you go, but I’m not leaving.” He said softly and Sam swallowed, but nodded letting go of Gabriel’s elbow. When he was free Gabriel went over to Dean and without a word punched him as hard as he could, “You asshole, do you know what you’ve done to Sam? To your own brother?” He asked his voice angry, but quiet, “You have no idea do you?” He asked and Dean didn’t say anything, he didn’t realize the weight of his words until now, they caused Sam to try and commit suicide, “Well then let me explain it to you.” He said and took a deep breath, “You, the only person Sam has ever looked up to and looked to for protection and love, his real dad so to speak.” Gabriel explained and Sam frowned, he loved Gabriel so much and was so thankful he was there to fight on Sam’s behalf because right now Sam couldn’t fight for himself, “You just made Sam’s worst nightmare come true.” He said his voice low and threatening, “You were the only one who didn’t think he was a monster, the only one who loved him in spite of the fact that John blamed him.” He said, “But now you’ve sunk lower than even John, you’ve made your way into Sam’s heart and make him live his worst nightmare.” Gabriel said and Dean was breathing heavier than before, Sam could tell he was crying, “His own brother, the only person that never blamed him… Just did.” He said, “Sam’s only family that didn’t consider him the cause of Mary’s death and now you do.” He said, “Congratulations, you’ve made your only brother live his deepest fear, realize his biggest nightmare, do you have any words to say on that?” He asked then pointed to the door, “Because no one wants to hear them. Sam doesn’t need you here right now, not after what you said to him.” He said and shoved Dean out closing the door and then looked to Sam with a sigh and Sam frowned, “I’m sorry sorry Gabriel.” Sam whimpered his tears falling and Gabriel shook his head, “Don’t cry baby, don’t cry.” He said softly, “It’s okay gonna be okay.” He said softly, “If you ever, ever, get those feelings again just pick up the phone and call me, I swear I’ll pick up every single time you call.” He said and Sam nodded, “I-I just…” Sam started, but Gabriel stopped him, “Shh, don’t speak baby, just rest, I’m not going to leave your side.” He said softly and it was true. Gabriel was there for Sam every single moment he was in the hospital and he doted on him while he was at home. It took a long time, almost a year, for Dean to get his relationship back to where it was with Sam, it was slow comings, but Sam had learned to relax around Dean, learned to trust him again and they were brothers after all so Sam was inclined to trust Dean naturally. He still loved his brother, but now he carried around more scars than before. 

At this point in their life Sam and Gabriel were together for about three years and some odd months. They met, hit it off, bonded in such a short time then they spent a year and a half before they moved in and about six months later Gabriel got the tattoo of Sam’s name. A couple months later was the huge fight between Sam and Dean that took a year to recover from and now they were several months past that. It was coming up on their fifth year anniversary and Sam was disappointed that Gabriel hadn’t proposed. He would never bring it up because he was more than ready and would wait as long as Gabriel needed, but he longed to be husbands rather than just lovers, longed to take the next step of commitment and be tied to this man for the rest of his natural life. He sat with Gabriel as he watched some TV show though Sam didn’t really care for this particular show he did enjoy listening to audiobooks, they were his version of TV because he could imagine what everything looked like in his mind. So while Gabriel watched TV he would listen to an audiobook. Most of the time Sam would be laying on the couch with his head in Gabriel’s lap while he watched TV and ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, usually he would fall asleep like this happy to have his lovers hands in his hair. It was in this moment that there was a knock on the door and Sam sat up grabbing his robe while Gabriel did the same since they had both agreed to just go naked in the house unless expecting company, “Who could it be at this hour?” He asked turned to Gabriel, “I don’t know, but don’t worry, I’ll protect you if it’s robbers baby.” He said as he put his robe on then grabbed Sam’s hand and walked over to the door. Sam rolled his eyes and stood smiling with his hands in his pockets. Gabriel opened the door and saw a very attractive woman with a very skinny child, maybe malnourished or starved Gabriel didn’t know, cowering behind her holding himself, “Can we help you?” Gabriel asked with a friendly smile, but the woman didn’t look at him, “Hello Sam.” She said and Sam’s head snapped up as he looked at her, “R-Ruby?” He asked disbelieving, he took a step back more out of shock than anything. She used to scare him, but now she was just a past regret, he regret that she stole so many years of his life, “The one and only.” She said and Sam tilted his head composing himself after the shock of meeting her again after all of these years, “What are you doing here?” He asked confused, “How did you even find out where I live?” He added his face in obvious confusion, but she didn’t answer, “I don’t give a shit about your life and I don’t care what you do with him, but when you left me I was pregnant.” She said and before she could continue Sam stopped, “Don’t give me that bullshit Ruby, you left me, you broke my piano and made me lose my job.” He said sternly, “You were cheating on me, how do I know the child isn’t one of the many men you slept around with?” He asked glaring at her and she scoffed, “Because the bastard is sick just like you.” She spat, which made the child whimper quietly and hold himself even more, but Sam didn’t react just yet, he also didn’t react to Ruby because he didn’t care what she thought and she couldn’t get to him like she used to. The only thing that really got him was that he actually got her pregnant and he had a son… He had a son? And she was just now telling him? Gabriel looked at the two and decided to step in, “Do you have proof that he’s the father?” Gabriel asked and Ruby rolled her eyes and shoved papers at Sam, “You want proof? Here, DNA tests.” She said and Sam tried to read it, but they weren’t in braille. Seeing this Gabriel grabbed the papers and read them his own shock showing on his face, “He’s yours Sam.” He said and Ruby shook her head, “I don’t want the little shit, he’s too expensive and in the way.” She said and Sam frowned at that, the poor kid was whimpering quietly and Sam could hear him, but he knew that Ruby couldn’t, “He’s yours.” She said and started to walk off, but Sam grabbed her arm which was pure luck almost, “You can’t just leave him here.” He said, he would take him, but he knew she couldn’t just abandon him, “If you leave him you’ll have to pay child support.” He said, “I know the law better than you ever will.” He said and she pulled her arm away from him, “I don’t give a shit about you or that thing.” She said and walked off leaving a trembling, frightened and starved child on the doorstep of Sam and Gabriel’s house. Sam couldn’t believe she could abandon her own child like this, but when he heard him whimpering Sam knew he had to do something. He looked to Gabriel, “On it.” He said and walked off while Sam went over to the child who was just standing on their doorstep, “Hey.” He said softly as he knelt down in front of the child, “My name is Sam.” He said and the child took a step back, “P-Please don’t hurt me.” He whimpered and Sam frowned, “Hurt you?” He asked confused, “M-Mrs. Ruby s-said she was t-taking me to a-a mean man’s h-house and he w-would hurt me.” He said and started crying into his hands, “I-I don’t want to hurt.” He sobbed and Sam felt his own tears spring to his eyes and he didn’t think he just grabbed the boy gently and pulled him into his arms, “I’m not going to hurt you.” He said softly and picked the child up holding him close and taking him inside, “I promise you.” He said and the boy just wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck and cried into it while Sam sat down on the couch and held him close letting him cry it out, “It’s alright.” He said softly, “It’s going to be okay, you’re safe.” He said and then started to rub his back gently as the boy cried. It was a good half hour before the boy stopped crying and was just hyperventilating, “You’re gonna have to calm your breathing.” He said, “Just follow my breathing, okay?” He asked and the boy nodded against Sam’s neck and as Sam started taking deep controlled breaths the boy started doing the same as best he could and ten minutes later he was breathing calmly against Sam’s neck not letting him go. Sam smiled and cradled the little boy in his arms protectively and after a little while Gabriel came through the door, “Hey, I’m back.” He said and Sam smiled as Gabriel walked to the kitchen, he got a bunch of food Sam could hear it and some things for the child though Sam had a lot of the things he would need and he would have to order some things for him as well. He continued to hold the boy and sighed, “My name is Samuel Winchester.” He said softly and the boy nodded, “Mrs. Ruby said… She said you were my… Dad?” He asked and Sam smiled widely, “That’s right.” He said and held him, “It’s all a bit complicated, but she left me and well, I didn’t know she was pregnant with you.” He said softly and squeezed the little boy, “But don’t you worry, I’m going to take care of you.” He said softly, “You’ll never have to be near her again.” He said and the boy nodded and squeezed his arms around Sam’s neck a little bit, “I like you more.” He said and Sam smiled at that, “Well I love you.” He said and the boy stilled, “Y-You do?” He asked and Sam could cry at how shocked the boy sounded like he had never been told he was loved, “Of course I love you.” He said softly, “I love you to infinity and beyond.” He said and the little boy smiled against his neck, he didn’t say it back and Sam knew that it would take time to earn the boys trust, but he would be diligent about it. Sam was so ready to be a father and then it hit him, he was a father, he had a son, just like that. 

After that day Sam took care of the little boy who apparently was named Luke, but Ruby called him the devil which was horrible because once they got situated Sam found that the boy had such good manners and he was such a quick learner. Sam had told Luke that he had an Uncle, but only when he was ready would he come around, he wanted Luke to get used to having a loving father before he added an Uncle to the mix. It was only a week when Luke said he wanted to meet his Uncle and Sam smiled because Dean had been so anxious about meeting the boy; It’s not every day that you find out you have a nephew. Sam had called Dean immediately after Luke fell asleep the first night, this was something that couldn’t wait and he knew it. The conversation was intense and Dean was so shocked and honestly didn’t believe Sam until Gabriel took a photo and sent it to Dean. He was furious at first, not at Sam, but Ruby because she was a horrible mother, but Sam knew that and was prepared to unpack all the emotional baggage that Luke carried with him, his mother not loving him and being verbally and physically abused, he knew the child was going to need a lot of TLC, but Sam was ready and he knew Dean would help out whenever he could. When they did finally meet it was so natural and Sam wanted to cry because Dean just walked in and wrapped his arms around the little boy who did the exact same thing. It was almost like he had been apart of the family his whole life rather than dropped on his doorstep. After that day Sam and Gabriel talked and it was tense because Gabriel wasn’t prepared for kids and Sam was so scared he would leave him, but Sam also knew he would never sacrifice this child for anyone, he was his son, nothing was more important that him. Thankfully Gabriel wasn’t saying that at all and after some tears from Sam because he was so afraid Gabriel explained that he wasn’t prepared, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want kids. That made Sam cry even more and cling to Gabriel tightly, that day was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders because he was afraid he would be rendered a single father not that he couldn’t handle it because he knew he could crash with Dean, but it was a terrifying thought that Gabriel would leave him because he had a son. Sam didn’t think about it anymore though because it brought on so many tears, he just thought that it didn't’ happen and Gabriel accepted his son with open arms and Luke saw Gabriel as a second father after a few months which was so beautiful because Gabriel stepped into the role so naturally despite him saying he wasn’t prepared for children. 

A year later and it was the summer again, Dean was taking Luke for the weekend while Sam and Gabriel spent some needed time alone together. Sam was falling slowly into depression because he thought Gabriel would never propose even though he wanted to desperately be his husband. Sam didn’t know how to tell him though because he was afraid that if he said something Gabriel would back off even though they had been together for over seven years now and even had a child together, all they were missing was the ring. It was on that Saturday that Sam was sitting on the couch with a frown on his face just thinking about all of these things when Gabriel walked inside, he had gone to run a couple errands, and went to sit next to Sam. Sam didn’t stop frowning though, he seemed to have a perpetual frown that Gabriel had noticed, but he didn’t bring it up which made Sam’s heart ache more than he cared to admit. When Gabriel sat down he moved close to him and leaned against him, even if Sam was upset that Gabriel hadn’t popped the question he still loved him and wanted to be with him more than anything in the world. He sighed and just nuzzled his neck running his hands over Gabriel’s skin looking at his tattoos. He knew his skin like the back of his hand and loved seeing his tattoos, loved feeling them and knowing what they were, but something was different. He ran his hand over Gabriel’s wrist, he didn’t have a tattoo there the last time Sam check, but there was something there. His frown deepened and he felt the skin every which way till his hands started to tremble and tears filled his eyes and he kept going over the tattoo over and over. He didn’t know what to say and Gabriel didn’t fill the silence with anything other than leaning down to kiss Sam who almost didn’t know how to kiss back. Then he let out a whimper, “You bastard.” He sobbed and Gabriel chuckled, “I know.” He said and wrapped his arms around Sam pulling him close, “I’m so sorry for making you wait so long.” He said and Sam just cried into Gabriel’s neck and stayed there till he was calm once again. The tattoo on Gabriel’s wrist said ‘Will you marry me?’ in braille which was what Sam had been waiting for, for so long, “I don’t want to wait any longer.” He whispered and Sam smiled and held him close not letting him go. The rest of the weekend Sam and Gabriel made love to each other and when Sunday came Sam called Dean and he came over for dinner where he broke the news to both him and Luke. Luke was ecstatic and hugged Gabriel, “Now you’ll be my real daddy.” He said and Gabriel felt tears spring to his eyes, “That’s right my little rugrat.” He and held him close, Dean just smiled at them, “You took your sweet ass time.” He said and Sam frowned, “Language Dean.” He said and Dean groaned, “Sorry.” He said and Luke smiled because he knew that his uncle cursed a lot, but it didn’t bother him and he knew not to repeat them because they were bad words. The rest of the evening went well just eating and talking while Luke listened to an audiobook quietly while falling asleep on Gabriel. It was a perfect weekend with the perfect ending. 

It was a week later when Sam came home with a tattoo of his one, it was in braille as well so if anyone saw it they won’t know what it meant, but Gabriel knew and he smiled when he saw it. 

‘Yes’

**Author's Note:**

> This story wasn't edited much so what you see is what you get so I'm sorry for all the grammatical errors and I'm very sure plot holes and what not. If you find any please let me know so I can correct them because I want this story to flow much better than it does now. 
> 
> If anyone wants me to do a timestamp or add more to the story, but give me suggestions because it's been a while since I wrote this and I can't think of ideas at the moment since I've lost the inspiration for the work though I still want to add more. I hope you all enjoy the story. :)


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